In this episode, co-host Tim Pineau returns to the pod and Ketih and Tim have a conversation about grief.
Tim stepped away from his co-hosting role for our last few episodes to manage a family crisis, which is what Tim and Keith are talking about in our final episode of Season 3. Tim's daughter, Inayaa, died in February 2022 at 4 and a half months old after being diagnosed with a rare heart defect. Tim shares Inaaya's story and what his journey through this grief has been like so far.
Many people we work with often ask how something like meditation is really supposed to help them navigate things like trauma or tragedy? Should they feel nothing? Never be stressed? Never fall apart? The intention behind this conversation is to provide a window into this question and share in real time how a mindfulness expert is experiencing grief. Specifically, we emphasize that being mindful is not the same thing as always being "ok," and that our well-being is not synonymous with happiness.
After a brief introduction explaining our intention to apply mindful curiosity to this experience of profound grief and loss, this conversation touches on:
3:15 - Inaaya's story
13:00 - What self-care really looks like after a traumatic loss
19:00 - How mindfulness shows up in difficult times even if/when formal practice isn't happening
26:45 - Intentionality and choice when it comes to responding to big emotions
29:00 - The pressure to be "ok" from others, and the radical self-compassion of letting yourself openly, honestly not be ok
34:30 - Finding the "gift" in a tragedy - meta-awareness and the clarification of priorities
41:00 - Recognizing there is no perfect, and accepting that "messiness" is just part of the picture, not a failure
45:30 - Integrating this personal experience into mindfulness-based mental performance consultant self-disclosure and the modeling of mindfulness
52:00 - Acknowledging the difference between well-being and happiness
55:00 - Honoring Inaaya - choose kindness